With the end of Ramadan...

... comes the return to a busy social calendar.  While we got off to a bit of a slow start on the social scene here, things with Josh's school have picked up steadily in the months since.  All things considered, Ramadan - while an important religious observance for the local populace - was a welcome break from evening activities.  It was a great time for us to spend time together as a family in the evenings.

While we had the opportunity to share iftar (the fast-breaking meal) with some of our friends on three occasions, this meal happens relatively early in the evening (somewhere between our normal dinner time and their normal dinner time) and is guaranteed to end in a timely manner since everyone heads to the local mosque to be there in time for 8:30 prayer.  So this was a great opportunity for us to get our kids out at dinner-time which we usually avoid because it can lead to very long evenings (and let's face it, kiddo behavior definitely does not improve after bedtime).

This is Josh's first full week back to class after the Eid break - the official end to Ramadan - and here's how yesterday went.  First thing in the morning, I got an SMS (that's text msg for you non-locals) from Josh letting me know that his classmates were scheduling a syndicate dinner either for that night or the next (tonight).  So, we opted for tonight.  Oh, by the way, we also have an AMARDESH country presentation this evening at Mirpur, and I was scheduled to have a rehearsal for my "being a US Army wife" presentation this afternoon.  So, I would leave the house around 1:30 and not return until sometime around 10:00 tonight - assuming of course that we could convince the syndicate to have an "early" dinner.  Then, tomorrow night, I have the actual presentation of my briefing with the Ladies Club at Mirpur - did I mention that just yesterday they called me and asked that I increase the length of my presentation from 15 to 30 minutes?? - so Josh will be home with the kids.  Wednesday night we have off - for now - and then Thursday, we have been invited to dinner with another foreign officer and his family (with kids).  There's a big part of me that really enjoys spending all of this time "experiencing" things locally, but it's obviously a huge change from life at DLI where a "big week" might entail a mom's night out for me - one night.  My social interaction there was generally during the day with other moms and wives.

I think it's easy for me to see that military culture here - with what I'll casually refer to as "mandatory fun" events - is a bit different from back home.  There's a large emphasis on wives being actively involved on a weekly basis - in fact, no event is considered "optional". If wive's choose not to participate, it can have a negative impact on their husband's chances for a successful career.  I can only imagine the drama it might cause state-side if a unit "required" spouses to participate in some sort of after hours event.  It wouldn't matter if spouses were available to attend or not, there would be some who would immediately choose not to attend just because "the Army can't make them do anything" and another group (I'll lump myself in here) who would ask what childcare arrangements had been made by the unit.  Not so here.  And yet there's a part of me that wishes more spouses and families would participate in Army events stateside because there's such great diversity out there, and lots of great opportunities to meet new people, but it seems like the same people attend all of the events.  Being a former FRG leader, I think there's a big part of me that wants to participate in things just because I know you put the same amount of work into setting up an event for 5 people as you do for 35, and I want people to know their efforts are appreciated.  I feel that our family social events might actually be better if we could convince more people to participate.  Less spouses and families would feel like "they don't know anyone".  I know, I know.  Two sides to every coin.  But I think it's important to acknowledge the good with the bad and always be open to see how just because things are different, they're not necessarily better or worse.

Oh, by the way, last night at 11:00, Josh got a text message rescheduling my rehearsal for my presentation.  Now we're meeting after AMARDESH and then still (maybe) going to dinner with the syndicate.  Because I don't need any advance notice to completely change my childcare arrangements, right?  Here, not really.  This would totally not fly in my real life, though ;)

Mysteries Solved

So I've had two totally unrelated things bugging me for a while now.  First, just about every day, at least once a day, I eat something that has a perfumey taste to it.  It's not overwhelming, but it's enough to make me feel a bit strange.  I know when we looked at packing up our consumables, we were warned over and over again not to put laundry detergent, dry sheets, or soap/cleaning products in with our food items as it would make everything smell and taste a bit soapy.  So we absolutely followed this advice.  I was starting to wonder if perhaps the items we bought at the commissary were all shipped in a single large container (with soaps not split up) or something along those lines.  I thought maybe the chemical preservatives in some of the foods we have didn't react well when exposed to heat for prolonged periods.  Regardless of the reason, I had essentially given up on finding an explanation.

Until last night.  Last night, I happened to be packing B's lunch for his first day of school, and as I pulled the sandwich baggies out of the box, I caught a whiff of the smell.  So, this whole time, it hasn't been the food, it's been the bags.  Josh was less than impressed with my revelation - truth be told, he claims there IS no smell.  But I smell it, and when I eat things that are stored in the bags, I taste it.  Garlic bread with just a hint of Bounce dryer sheet.  So, note to self, when packing the consumables, not only do I need to keep the food items away from the soap items, but everything that might even come in contact with my food needs to be away from the soap.  Lesson learned for next time.

Second mystery involved strange stains that were appearing on our walls.  Dark brown/black stains kept appearing at totally random intervals on our walls in places where we knew the kids could not reach.  I'm not actually sure if we have the real explanation on this, but it's just gross enough and plausible enough to be true.  Remember how I mentioned we have geckos that roam our house?  Yeah.  You see where I'm going with this, right?  So apparently they are being extremely well fed by all the bugs we have hanging around and when you've gotta go, you've gotta go.  Nice.  Please pass the rubber gloves...

Power

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, and I have 2 other unfinished posts that I just couldn't quite find the motivation to complete, so here goes.  First, the easy part.  Power stateside is 110 volts and power here is generally around 220 volts.  The outlets look mostly like the photo below.  Both outlets are actually the same, but I have plugged in a travel adapter to the outlet on the right.

The travel adapter - I think it was a couple dollars - allows me to plug in anything that can take 220V.  You might or might not be surprised to learn that many of the things you use every day can take either 110 or 220 which is nice since we only have one pure 110 outlet in the house.  The outlets here are described as UK/Hong Kong style 3 prong.  I can only assume this is because - and I'm taking a real leap here - these outlets are common in both the UK and Hong Kong.  For most small appliances - lamps, phones, etc - we just plug things directly in to the wall outlet.

For larger, more sensitive (read expensive) items, we use a voltage regulator.  Seen at left, it plugs in to the wall and then has 2 output outlets on the back (in most cases one 220 and one 110).  The item on the right is commonly referred to as a "step down" and changes the power from 220 to 110 but without providing any voltage regulation.  We have common power fluctuations and the voltage regulators help counter these.

Power outages are fairly common here, and we have a large generator out back to assist with this.  On a bad day during the heat of summer, we could have as many as 8 or more outages lasting over an hour each.  Luckily, the generator will kick on after about a minute, so we're rarely truly incapacitated.  Most appliances even turn themselves back on, so really we have very little disruption.  One notable exception is the oven.  We have a gas stove, and the burners on top will continue to burn whether the power is on or not (they just need power to spark), but if the power goes out while I'm baking, the gas supply to the oven shuts off.  Now that cooler weather has arrived with the rainy season, we can actually go several days without experiencing an outage - which is a nice change.  On the advice of other world-weary travelers, we brought with us several battery powered clocks to hang on the walls so at least I don't have to reset all the clocks every time the power goes out!

Surviving a Bangladeshi Buffet - or International Etiquette

Not totally unexpectedly, I spend a lot of time at mixed social functions watching other people.  It's one of the easiest ways to make sure I don't do anything "wrong."  So, please read on for all of the insider hints in social functions in BG (since I'm sure all of you are eager to visit):

It all starts with the preparation - and by that, I'm mainly referring to dress code.  There is one basic rule of women's fashion here (but many sub-rules) - You can never be overdressed.  Ever.  Should you look like someone went crazy with a bedazzler in your general vicinity?  Absolutely.  At all times.  Well, most times.  And that's what makes it tough.  Often, you can figure out what will be most appropriate based on the men's dress code which is much more straight forward.  For social functions here (so far at least), they are either open collar or closed collar (with tie).  Common sense would say that closed collar would correspond to a more formal sari since a tie is more dressy than an open collar shirt.  But that's where you'd be wrong.  All "fancy" events I've been to so far have been open collar.  Less fancy saris are required for shirt and tie events.  Go figure.  So the dinner events - which start no earlier than 8pm and all include children (but not ours) - are open collar and therefore fancy sari events.  

Arrival at the dinner event is a carefully coordinated activity.  Everyone should arrive before the instructor and his family, but everyone should also be standing when they arrive, and at least one person and his spouse should be ready to greet them at the door and "escort" them to the table.  The reason no one can really sit until the instructor arrives is because he and his wife (who never sit at the same table - men at the men's table, women at the women's) are always the first to select seats and sit down.  So far, each of our large dinners has been a buffet-style meal, and this seems to be fairly common.  The women get their food first - the instructor's spouse is always first, generally I'm somewhere at the front of the line as well even when I try to let others go first.  I would not find it unusual for another spouse to accompany me through the line and fill my plate for me - always piled high with meat.  Last night, I was able to get all of my own food (Thai and Chinese) and was fairly pleased with the food selection.  There is no point in trying to put everything on your plate the first time through  as you are expected to return to the buffet table at least twice.  Anything less and you must not truly be enjoying the food.  

You can never fully empty your plate either or it will be assumed that you're still hungry.  A truly full person - little known fact - is actually so full that they just can't manage to eat that last bite of food.  So you leave it on your plate along with your fork and knife/spoon slightly crossed in the middle of your plate.

Then you proceed to the dessert table, but again, only in the prescribed order.  After dessert, the men will adjourn outside the restaurant (generally to a balcony or outdoor seating area of some sort) while the women either join them or not depending on what the instructor's wife prefers.  We all go as a group though.  After this (which can be anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes) there is generally some sort of photograph to commemorate the event - women only - and then the instructor and his family leave followed by everyone else.  Dinner usually concludes around 10:30.  

As a side note, generally the spouses do not speak in English - though many of them can - during the meal.  So while every now and then, someone will make conversation or explain to me the general topic that everyone else is discussing, it is not unusual to understand little to nothing of what is being discussed.  The men are required to speak English (it's part of the officer culture), so even at events outside the classroom, they tend to speak English - at least when their instructor is around.  This was probably the most difficult part of social functions at first, but I have found that everyone has been extremely friendly.  And really, even if they don't speak much English, their English is always invariably better than my Bangla, and I'm the visitor in their country.  So I try to keep things in perspective!  

Goodbye, Grandpa!

After a fun, relaxing week, I made a 0345 drive to the airport to drop off my dad Frida morning.  The kids had a blast hanging out with Grandpa all week, and it was nice to have an extra set of hands around while we all got settled into the house again.  We only managed to spend one day sight-seeing downtown because of Josh's school schedule, but even one day sitting in Dhaka traffic is more than enough ;)

We rounded out that day with a lunch at Captain's World near the old airport.  If you live here and haven't been yet, you really should go.  The food is ridiculously good, especially the garlic naan.  Yummy!

We also had a 4th of July celebration - Dhaka style.  There was a dinner buffet at the American club complete with arts and crafts, cotton candy, and monsoon rains.  Dinner was pulled pork, hot dogs, hamburgers, cole slaw, potato salad, baked beans, and fruit salad.  Great food, and "almost" like you'd get at home.  Almost.

--Break--

I wrote that first piece almost a week ago, but we've been having some technical difficulties on this end, so it has been sitting in my draft box gathering cyberdust.  It's been a bit of a long week here.  Josh has been involved in a week-long exercise here requiring additional time at work.  With Ramadan rapidly approaching, his classmates are trying to squeeze in all the social events they can, so we have Ladies Club, Social Night, and a Syndicate dinner all coming up this week.  Now, at the last minute, they've changed the schedule, and since I'd already finalized child care arrangements for all of the events, I'll end up missing out on 2 of them.  Is planning ahead really such a foreign (or domestic) concept?

I've wasted no time reacquainting myself with my friendly, neighborhood tailor.  They were pleased to show me all the new fabric they've gotten in since I last visited and were happy to hear that my relatives wanted to sample some of their work as well.  And so we have settled back in to some semblance of a routine.

The Joys of Travel

Well, we're back.  And as usual, things could have gone smoothly, you know, if the stars were aligned.  Somehow they never are where I'm concerned.  I was lucky enough to be bringing my dad home with me for the return flight, so at least I had a one-to-one ratio with the kids.  With a departure after 11 pm, I figured we'd have a short-ish wait at security.  I suppose we "might" have if they'd had more than one line open.  Thank you, Dulles, for continuing to NOT live up to my expectations.  And I would like to take a moment to mention that all of the people working there were wearing what appeared to be tuxedos.  It was a cross between movie theater attire, and ...  I don't really know what.  It was just strange.  Anyone else seen this recently?

Okay, so more on the trip.  We waited for almost 30 minutes at security, and naturally when we were about halfway through the line, not one, but both of my children decided they really needed to use the restroom.  Too bad we couldn't go back, and we couldn't go forward.  In the one moment we really need to breeze through security, I get pulled aside for a pat-down.  And strangely enough, they did just about everything they could to talk me out of it.  Would I like to take down my hair and put all of my hair clips through the X-ray machine?  Would I like to take off my waist pack (that contains no metal) and put that through the X-ray machine?  Would I like to just come back another day and try again?  Surely I would like a privacy screen.  No, no, no.  Just get on with it already.  And, oh by the way, they also needed to do an additional security screen on my purse (because of all those forbidden items I was trying to sneak through).  And since I couldn't leave, neither could my children to use the restroom.  Amazingly, neither had an accident and we were on our way.  Did I mention they found nothing remotely dangerous on me or in my purse?  Yeah, figures.

So we're sitting on the plane, getting ready to take off, and lo and behold we had a passenger who refused to board the aircraft.  First time for me with this one, but they had to have each and every passenger on the plane locate and identify all of their items in the overhead bins.  Nothing like a little last minute drama.  Oh yeah, and I'm not really a skittish flyer, but please tell me I'm not the only one who rethinks their travel plans (at least a little bit) when someone else doesn't want to fly on their plane?

The flight was great - 10 hours nonstop into Istanbul.  The kids slept for almost the entire flight and didn't even get up to eat.  Our gate-checked stroller failed to make an appearance however, so that required waiting in line at the transfer desk and having the stroller forwarded to Dhaka.  I was fairly confident the stroller would appear several days later (if at all).  I have to admit to being happily surprised to see it come out with our luggage upon arrival in Dhaka.  Naturally that flight was slightly delayed, late getting in, and baggage took just shy of an hour to appear.  But how nice did it feel to come home and take a nap in MY bed with MY pillow?  It's the little things.

The kids took Grandpa to the club this morning and a good time was had by all.  Looking forward to overcoming jet lag and getting back into the swing of things.

Whirlwind "Vacation"

Time with family?  Check.  Lots of unnecessary/necessary shopping?  Check.  Visit to the beach?  Check.  Our "vacation" is drawing to a close, but we've certainly packed quite a bit in.  Why the quotation marks, you ask?  Well...  and this might sound silly to some of you hard core military types who have spent years (literally) away from your spouses, but this is the longest I've been away from my other half in a while.  We've been extremely fortunate in our assignments, and with all of the school time required for this job, we've had quite a bit of time together recently.  So while it's nice to be stateside hanging out getting a tan, I can't relax completely knowing that one member of our family is missing.  Granted, he's spent some of this time hanging out with guy friends in Nepal (taxing, right?), but it's been a bit lonely without him.

Enough on that, though.  My sister's wedding was really wonderful and I was so pleased to have the opportunity to come home and celebrate with her and her new husband.  Best wishes to both of them as they head out to the great state of Texas to begin their new life together.  Finally, some of my knowledge about moving has come to good use!

We followed that up with a quick drive to Florida to hang out with the in-laws and managed to sneak in an absolutely idyllic stay in Rosemary Beach.  The Destin outlets were conveniently close (and really, why vacation anywhere unless there are good outlets nearby?) and I even managed to pick up a few things I think I'll be able to wear in Dhaka - assuming of course it hasn't gotten even hotter since I left.  B spent a bit of time in the pool and is quickly becoming proficient in swimming, though I think we're going to leave his vest on for a bit longer.  K had an "adventurous" time coming home with 2 chipped front teeth, plenty of mosquito bites, a black eye (from unknown causes), 2 scraped knees, and 1 scraped elbow.  She's really not that clumsy, but she does everything big.

I meanwhile have been completely spoiled with plenty of adults to mind my children (like having 3 full-time employees in my house in Dhaka hasn't been good enough) and enough free time to get out and enjoy myself.  I find I have an increased appreciation for home-cooked food, though I'm always up for some Costco cheese pizza.  Yum!

Just a few days left to pack in all the fun we can handle before we head back to the 'Desh.  Catch you guys on the other side of the world!