Sunday, August 26, 2012

With the end of Ramadan...

... comes the return to a busy social calendar.  While we got off to a bit of a slow start on the social scene here, things with Josh's school have picked up steadily in the months since.  All things considered, Ramadan - while an important religious observance for the local populace - was a welcome break from evening activities.  It was a great time for us to spend time together as a family in the evenings.

While we had the opportunity to share iftar (the fast-breaking meal) with some of our friends on three occasions, this meal happens relatively early in the evening (somewhere between our normal dinner time and their normal dinner time) and is guaranteed to end in a timely manner since everyone heads to the local mosque to be there in time for 8:30 prayer.  So this was a great opportunity for us to get our kids out at dinner-time which we usually avoid because it can lead to very long evenings (and let's face it, kiddo behavior definitely does not improve after bedtime).

This is Josh's first full week back to class after the Eid break - the official end to Ramadan - and here's how yesterday went.  First thing in the morning, I got an SMS (that's text msg for you non-locals) from Josh letting me know that his classmates were scheduling a syndicate dinner either for that night or the next (tonight).  So, we opted for tonight.  Oh, by the way, we also have an AMARDESH country presentation this evening at Mirpur, and I was scheduled to have a rehearsal for my "being a US Army wife" presentation this afternoon.  So, I would leave the house around 1:30 and not return until sometime around 10:00 tonight - assuming of course that we could convince the syndicate to have an "early" dinner.  Then, tomorrow night, I have the actual presentation of my briefing with the Ladies Club at Mirpur - did I mention that just yesterday they called me and asked that I increase the length of my presentation from 15 to 30 minutes?? - so Josh will be home with the kids.  Wednesday night we have off - for now - and then Thursday, we have been invited to dinner with another foreign officer and his family (with kids).  There's a big part of me that really enjoys spending all of this time "experiencing" things locally, but it's obviously a huge change from life at DLI where a "big week" might entail a mom's night out for me - one night.  My social interaction there was generally during the day with other moms and wives.

I think it's easy for me to see that military culture here - with what I'll casually refer to as "mandatory fun" events - is a bit different from back home.  There's a large emphasis on wives being actively involved on a weekly basis - in fact, no event is considered "optional". If wive's choose not to participate, it can have a negative impact on their husband's chances for a successful career.  I can only imagine the drama it might cause state-side if a unit "required" spouses to participate in some sort of after hours event.  It wouldn't matter if spouses were available to attend or not, there would be some who would immediately choose not to attend just because "the Army can't make them do anything" and another group (I'll lump myself in here) who would ask what childcare arrangements had been made by the unit.  Not so here.  And yet there's a part of me that wishes more spouses and families would participate in Army events stateside because there's such great diversity out there, and lots of great opportunities to meet new people, but it seems like the same people attend all of the events.  Being a former FRG leader, I think there's a big part of me that wants to participate in things just because I know you put the same amount of work into setting up an event for 5 people as you do for 35, and I want people to know their efforts are appreciated.  I feel that our family social events might actually be better if we could convince more people to participate.  Less spouses and families would feel like "they don't know anyone".  I know, I know.  Two sides to every coin.  But I think it's important to acknowledge the good with the bad and always be open to see how just because things are different, they're not necessarily better or worse.

Oh, by the way, last night at 11:00, Josh got a text message rescheduling my rehearsal for my presentation.  Now we're meeting after AMARDESH and then still (maybe) going to dinner with the syndicate.  Because I don't need any advance notice to completely change my childcare arrangements, right?  Here, not really.  This would totally not fly in my real life, though ;)

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